


Cause a Spy is a Spy is a Spy is a Spy is a Spy

by ladybuglover999 (cadybug2023)



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, F/M, but theyre still lesbians, more like bis are forever, owen still dies, saf but make it lesbians, their ship name is Kateliv and that is canon sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadybug2023/pseuds/ladybuglover999
Summary: Yeah this pretty much follows the exact same plot as SAF but they're all genderflipped and where the songs would be, I fill in with angsty flashbacks!There are descriptions of violence so if you're uncomfortable with that, don't read! I'll do my best to put warnings before each chapter.
Relationships: Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Cause a Spy is a Spy is a Spy is a Spy is a Spy

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter contains:  
> Kateliv <3  
> A torture scene (sort of)  
> Sexual Innuendos

"Agent Katherine Mega, of the American Secret Service. How nice of you to drop by." A tall, brooding Russian woman spoke, her accent thick and dark. Judging by how she was carrying herself, there was no way Kate was going to make it out of this unscratched.

Kate chuckled lowly at her captor's comments. "Well," she quickly jerked her head to the side, sweeping her bangs out of her eyes. "I'd say the pleasure is all mine, but, if I may, this is not pleasurable at all."

A second figure emerged from the shadows, a man this time. He spoke with a more mild version of the accent his female counterpart used. "Oh, you're going to be a fun one. I can tell." He snickered to the female, who seemed to be the boss. She took a step forward, and Kate gulped.

"A child, this one is. Thinks she knows more than she actually does. That'll one day be your downfall, Mega. Misinformation, assuming things you know not to be true, and cockiness." The woman spat on Kate's face and sneered at her. The man behind her whistled lowly. 

Kate brought her shoulder and wiped the saliva off her cheek. "I believe you're the misinformed one here, darling. You see, spies never die. Therefore, I have no downfall. So your downfall would be assuming that I don't kill you in the end, no?"

The woman gasped and raised her eyebrows. "Give her hell, Oleg." The man, Oleg, stepped forward and cracked his knuckles. "With pleasure."

Oleg brought his arm across his body before slamming his elbow into Kate's stomach. Kate held her breath on impact, not daring show her enemy signs of weakness. "Is that all you can do, Ollie?"

Oleg growled at her and hit her again, this time across her face. Kate hissed slightly as she felt blood coming from her nose.

"That's my boy, Oleg. Now tell us, Katherine, what do you know about the blueprints?" 

Kate just shook her head at the woman and winked. The woman groaned. "How can you be so calm!? Death is staring you in the face, and all you do is _wink_ at it? How do you get off?"

Kate's cheeks blushed a light pink as she spoke between giggles. "Depends on where I am, dear. Usually it involves a certain friend of mine, a certain mood, a certain-"

"I've heard enough. Oleg, stand back."

Kate turned her head in curiosity towards the woman. Her curiosity quickly turned to panic as she realized what the woman was holding; a feather.

"Shit-"

The woman lightly brushed the feather across Kate's cheek. "Language, Katherine." Kate squirmed uncomfortably against the ropes holding her to her chair. 

"No please, not that-"

"Then tell us what you know."

"Never."

The woman began mercilessly tickling Kate, looking quite ridiculous. Kate's laughter soon filled the room they were in, along with her pleas for the woman to stop.

"St- oh god- I'll talk! I'll talk!" The woman paused to let Kate catch her breath. Kate inhaled quickly and bit her lip.

"M-My name is Katherine Mega, and I'm working for the American Secret Service-" The woman slapped Kate across the face. "We already know this! Give us some new information we need, Mega!" 

Kate nodded and closed her eyes. "W-we need the blueprints for the new weapon's you've been building!" Kate looked at the woman, scared that that wasn't the information she needed. But, that was all the information Kate had to give her. 

The woman sneered and clicked her tongue. "Who else knows of the blueprints?" 

Kate shook her head quickly. "No one else!"

"Lies!" The woman took the feather and began tracing it behind Kate's left ear. Kate squirmed and laughed once again, her heart rate elevating. 

  
"How did you know I was deathly ticklish behind my left ear?"

The woman chuckled darkly, a certain fondness spreading across her face. Her entire demeanor changed as she spoke with a different accent, one that sounded more natural. "Personal history does have its benefits, Mega."

Kate tilted her head in confusion. All of the sudden, the woman pulled a gun out from around her hip. Kate closed her eyes as she cocked it, preparing for impact, but it never happened. After the gun was fired, Oleg howled in pain. "Ahh, my leg!" There were various sounds of crunching as Oleg hit the floor

The woman laughed softly and began untying Kate's hands. That laugh sounded familiar...

"Olive Carvour, you limey bastard." Kate smiled at her friend as her hands were finally free. "What brings you all the way to Russia, hm?"

Olive shook her head and took the hat she was wearing off, shaking out her hair. "Certain intel that a Miss Katherine Mega would be here, and seeing as she was already captured, I would say she would thank me?"

Kate shook her head and rolled out her shoulders, hissing as her joints cracked. "I'd say as how a certain Miss Carvour captured Miss Mega, Miss Mega need not be the one apologizing."

Olive shrugged softly and clapped Kate on the back. "It's good for your ego, love."

Oleg, still whimpering on the ground, suddenly spoke. "I'm sorry, what is going on here?"

Both Kate and Olive crouched beside him, speaking in turns. Olive spoke first.

"Well, you old chap, you've just been used for sport-"

"By two of the greatest spies in the world!"

Olive gave Kate a disappointed look and sighed. "Anyways, despite having to nurse multiple fractures-"

"And quite possibly never being able to walk again-"

"You'll probably be one of the only few to survive."

Oleg glared at the two of them. "So?"

Kate sneered. "So you're welcome." She brought the butt of her gun down onto his temple, successfully knocking him out. She then stood up, offering her hand to Olive. "Well, that sure was fun."

Olive raised her eyebrows. "A certain friend?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut it you. You only wish you could have what I have."

Olive crossed her arms. "Contrary to popular belief, not everyone wants what you have, love."

Kate pulled up her sleeve to expose her watch. She spoke in a mocking tone. "Not e'ryone wants what ye have love." 

Olive groaned and shook her head. "God, you're insufferable."

Just then, Christopher Houston's voice filled the room they were in. He spoke in a dark, sharp tone. "Mega! Where the _hell_ are you?!" 

Kate inhaled sharply and gulped. "Uh... Russia?"

Olive covered her mouth and laughed softly. Christopher, unfortunately, did not find this amusing at all. "Very funny, Mega. Now, I don't need you getting cocky here, we need the weapons blueprints back in America, tout suite!"

Olive took Kate's hand in hers and gently pulled her wrist toward her mouth. "Consider it done, Christopher darling."

On the other end of the line, there was a gasp of admiration. Judging by his tone, Christopher was clearly smiling. "Is that Olive Carvour? Thank _god_ we've got someone with a brain on this case. MI6 didn't tell me you were on this mission."

Olive laughed softly. "Well, there's a reason it's called the secret service, love." She winked at Kate, but quickly pulled her to her chest as she shot someone coming up from behind her. "Watch your back, eh, Kate?'

Christopher laughed and shook his head. "Funny and focused. Listen, if you ever want to leave those lobster-back idealists you work for-"

"I believe they call that treason, my dear," Olive interrupted.

Christopher sighed. "Our doors are always open."

Kate pulled her wrist free from Olive's grip. "Gotta go!" Kate pressed a button and the screen of her watch went blank. Olive looked at her, amusement filing out her features. "Oh, are you jealous? You know I'd never work for the Americans." 

Kate sighed. "I know..." A mischievous glint caught in her eyes. "...that you couldn't handle it." She pulled a flask out of her pocket and took a swig. Olive shook her head in disgust. "Kate no, not until the job is done."

Kate swallowed and mocked Olive once again. "Oh, not until th' job es done, eh?" Olive rolled her eyes and took a drink as well, just to shut Kate up. Kate aimed over Olive's head and shot someone coming towards them. "I really hope there aren't any more agents on this case..."

Olive dodged a punch from another person, seemingly coming from nowhere, and punched them in the jaw. "Oh, there aren't. MI6 was the only other agency informed, and I was the only agent they sent. Did the Americans send anyone else?" 

Kate shook her head. "Nope, just me." 

The two spies rounded a corner to catch their breath. Kate's watch started buzzing again. It was Braxton Lavernor, a scientist working for the American Secret Service. Kate bit her lip and pressed a button. Braxton immediately spoke.

"Kate? Kate! Kate, do you copy?" Kate pulled her wrist away from her ear, cringing at the volume. "Brax, yeah, I'm here."

Braxton sighed in relief. "Oh good! I- er, we- were all worried sick! I'm glad you're okay though! I was beginning to think-"

"Brax, focus."

"Right, just take a picture of the blueprints you stole with your watch and send them to me!"

Kate paled and looked at Olive. "Did you steal the blueprints?" She mouthed.

Olive slapped her forehead and groaned loudly. "Damn it Kate-"

"No can do, Brax. Um... too boring. How about we blow this place to smithereens?"

Brax shook his head quickly. "No! Just take a picture!"

"No can do."

"Fine- just be safe, agents."

Kate pressed her watch and groaned. "I _would_ have stolen the blueprints, but you captured me, Liv. I can't very well steal something while my partner is stopping me. 

Olive rolled her eyes, once again. "Fine, fine. I'll take the blame. So, we're blowing up the facility?"

Kate nodded, smirking. "What's our record?"

Olive shook her head, resisting the urge to smile "I don't like that look in your eyes, yes six minutes."

Kate winked at Olive. "We can do it in five."

Olive grinned mischievously right back at her partner. "Make it four."

"Atta girl, Olive. We can do it in three." Kate patted Olive on the back and pulled the detonators out of her bag. 

Olive laughed softly. "Kate Mega, you're going to be the death of me..."

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think?? I honestly wrote more than I thought I would, so I'm splitting the first scene into two parts. Let me know what you do/don't want to see!


End file.
